a letter to my partner

Now that we have a child of our own, holidays have taken on a new meaning for me. With Father’s Day around the corner I am reflecting on both my own childhood and my current relationship with my partner Andy.

Andy is a lot like my own father in that he isn’t really driven by gifts. Sometimes I think we speak different love languages in that way. He’s not much for a grand gestures,  like flowers or surprise parties, but he makes coffee for me each morning, does most of the cooking around here, and always offers to take the baby when he can sense I’m tired out. And it’s those everyday, simple, little acts of kindness that make him such a wonderful father in my eyes. He always has time for our daughter and he’s quick to attend to her needs without complaining.  He does lots of the diaper changes, and has often taken her from a restaurant to play outside when she’s getting antsy and left me to finish my meal in peace.

Sometimes I get irritated with him because I want those exciting times, a surprise trip or an expensive gift. But what I want to remind myself is to be grateful for all those little things he does for us each day. Although it’s easy to overlook little selfless acts of service, in the end they mean more to me then all jewelry that money could buy.

I’m not much for expressing emotion, but my little note to my husband is this:

“Thank you for all that you do for our family. You are our primary financial provider, but you don’t use that as an excuse not to lend a hand around the house. You are an extremely involved father, and I know that our daughter will benefit from that in many ways. She thrives today because of the love, attention, and kindness you shower upon her.  As she gets older, she will watch you and learn from you the value of both working hard, the value of putting work aside and making time for your family. I know that I am not always the most gracious to you, and I am working on that. I hope you know how much I respect you, admire you, and appreciate you.”

Phew, okay I am not usually one to delve to deep in emotions and feelings, but that felt good to write. It was a nice reminder to myself, and I think from here on in, I am going to make a point to regularly reflect on what it is I value so much about Andy. If you have a partner- do you remember to stop and appreciate them from time to time? Sounds silly, but we are all so busy sometimes it can be so easy to forget to be mindful of the people around us.